The dishes had cleaned and packed themselves away and we both stared obsessively at the fire. My head ached from the overload of new information. My childhood memories were not real and were only perceptions. Nothing I remembered was true. Could it really be that my father had always loved me and his distant ways were to protect me? Had sinister faceless corporations killed my mother and was Anaira innocent?
“What was Anaira’s role in all of this?” I said.
“We allowed the world to believe she killed Siralie because she believed she had. It deflected attention from the real killers but it was safer. They had always been mortal enemies but Anaira was no match for your mother. She could have rebounded Anaira’s magic in her sleep. Siralie was attacked from many vantage points and by massive strikes. She had been caught unawares because Anaira appeared to be alone. A secret investigation showed us that they were hiding on the fifth dimension. Many of them! It was unbearably ironic you see, they used her own work against her. If she had not been distracted she would have picked it up, she was the most intuitive…” My father’s voice cracked and I gazed in disbelief at him. I had never seen him emotional. Ever.
“Did Anaira distract her? I keep going over what I remember but nothing makes sense.” I said.
“She was worried about you Esereht. She wanted to protect you.” His voice trembled and he gripped his hands together so hard he looked as though he were praying. Had I caused my mother’s death? If she weren’t so intent on protecting me would she have noticed the forces hiding in the shadows? I needed to push those thoughts away for now. It was too much to handle on top of everything else.
“What did you mean the fifth dimension? It’s cited in Mum’s notebooks too.” I said. I needed time to relate differently to my father and comforting him was still inconceivable. He cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes as though he were weary rather than sad.
“Our life’s work has been to prove that the world exists on multiple dimensions and anyone can access these at any time. Your mother discovered a grid that connects these dimensions. It is rather like the streets of New York. They cross or run parallel in a type of grid.” He said in answer to my frown. “But instead of taking you to another street it takes you into the past or the future or… and this is when it gets complicated, other worlds entirely where life is very different.” He said.
“It all sounds like a science fiction movie to be honest.” I said with a shrug.
“Yes, I know it does. The Organisation has been discrediting our work for many years and because it’s difficult to understand it is very easy to do. But they know it exists. They use it all the time for their own profit. They are determined to keep the rest of the world in ignorance. They have no compunction Esereht. They will kill to keep their secrets and have done so on numerous occasions.” He leant his head back against the chair and closed his eyes. I stared at his pale face trying to understand my conflicting emotions and thoughts.
“Ruatnac said I was the only one who could change things. What did he mean? I don’t even understand these grids. Surely you would be the person they need.” I said. He opened his eyes and they seemed to glow with the same intensity as the fire. I shivered with apprehension.
“No, Esereht it has to be you.” He said and his voice sounded so sad I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes. “You see this grid is imprinted in your DNA. It is as much a part of you as your body. Actually it is more so because on the sixth dimension your body is no longer important and is left behind when you enter it. You can take up it again if you so desire. They are engaging with more espionage on the sixth level now…”
“Stop! This is all too much. I don’t know what you are talking about? I’ve worked hard on this body and am quite partial to it. I have no intention of letting it go!” I shouted.
“I’m sorry darling.” He said.
“Why is it imprinted on my DNA? Is it only me?” I watched my father’s discomfort imploring him with my eyes to deny it. He shifted in his chair crossing and uncrossing his legs until finally he stood and walked over to the window.
“When you were born your mother attached her knowledge onto your chromosomes. It was her gift to you my darling. She was giving you her life’s work. You may not understand the work but it is innate in you. You don’t have to understand it to find your way into the grid. You will feel your way in. Your challenge will be to allow yourself to do so.” He said. I was quiet for a moment.
“But won’t they want to kill me to prevent that?” I said.
“Yes.” He said so softly I thought I imagined it.
“Did Mum know she was giving me a death sentence?” He shook his head vigorously walking back to face me.
“No, no she would never have done it if she knew. She intended only good…” His voice faded. It was my turn now to lean back against the chair and close my eyes.